View from the seafront: An Orthodox Jew Living in Brighton, far away from the big city

'You're going to Brighton?!' The question was often posed as if I was leaving for Siberia. Alternatively: 'That's so brave of you!' or 'Are you ok for food?' as if we had been stranded on a desert island with an occasional ferry sailing past for essential supplies.

Well surprisingly, the distance between Hove and Kosher Kingdom has proved to be less painful than many had expected. And it has helped me observe several things about community life.

About 18 months ago I wrote a blog about why I loved living Manchester and how community life was much more to do with friendliness than outlook but I would like to add another element to that: Need. In small communities everyone is needed so everyone is important. Not for their intelligence or for a function they perform but simply for existing. Everyone is therefore invested in the project of community building and it becomes part of their own personal identity. I could be wrong but I also think this mutual dependence helps people become nicer to each other.  

In Brighton, for instance, if one of the regulars doesn't turn up on Mondays and Thursdays we don't get a Minyan. In Hendon if you don't turn up for a year of Mondays and Thursdays it's unlikely that anyone would notice. Maybe it's the difference between living in a big city and not but I find that the idea of community matters much more to me in Brighton than it did in London. In addition, the small University J-Soc is not simply a means for Jews to pretend they can take their drink, it becomes an important part of community life. 

Jews like to live in big cities. Bigger is usually seen to be better. 'London? There's a big community there no? A good community.' 'New York? It's practically Jewish!' But cities also tend to be loud, impatient and very expensive. Jerusalem is paradise right? Well, not if you don't like lots of traffic and noise. As subversive as that sounds. 

There are actually many advantages of leaving the big city; for one, it allows you to slow down a bit. See nature, and yes, even get in touch with God a bit more - it is much harder to pay Him any mind in the concrete jungle. For another, comfort zones can be very stagnant. Humans like to be creative and strive for an impact in this world. 

Instead of fretting over the prospect of living in a place where pre-checked lettuce isn't readily available, perhaps leaving our comfort zones helps us invest much more strongly in our values and identity and develop in new, unforseen ways? In fact, I would recommend travel as a healthy alternative to intensive Kiruv seminars as a means of reconnecting with your identity (bring books with as well). And by travel I don't mean going to Thailand on drunken holidays. 

Whilst conventional wisdom sympathised with the Hendon boy forced to leave his mama behind for his wife's degree in Sussex, I was excited about the prospect of leaving North West London. It was a bit like a call to action and a guarantee that I would be valued regardless of what I did or accomplished.   

And one last thing: 'Aren't there only old people there?' Yes, but they usually have much more to teach you about life than young people. So come along to the south coast, you might just be pleasantly surprised!